Leslie's BlogIs Wife Alcoholic?
November 27, 2010
Dear Leslie,
My wife drinks every night, stays in her room all the time, and won’t engage with us as a family. She works a full-time job and doesn’t miss work. Is she an alcoholic, and if so, what should I do?
Signed,
Lonely in the Next Room
Dear Lonely,
That must be really hard to have someone close to you physically, but still be so many miles away emotionally. You didn’t say how much she drinks every night, but if it’s more than two drinks nightly then she may be alcoholic. According to the American Medical Association, normal drinking is (depending upon body weight) one drink daily for women and two drinks daily for men. Social withdrawal and isolation are also factors of depression, and if she’s drinking on top of that, then alcohol can depress moods even further.
You didn’t mention how long this has been going on, but have you tried talking to her in caring, non-judgmental way? Let her know how much you miss her company and that you are concerned because she seems to be slipping away from you and her family. Understand that people who are degrading deeper into their alcoholism may lose their job last because employment pays the bills and foots the booze tab. Family, friends, and health can be the wreckage cast along the way for the individual caught in the insidious disease of addiction.
Since you mention you’re not alone in this situation, I suggest you and your family attend Al-Anon meetings, and if age-appropriate, Alateen, for education and support. Here is the web-page for Austin meetings: http://austinalanon.org/ed6sml.htm.
I know it can be scary to go forward, but to stay stuck and feel powerless may be more painful for you in the long run.
Take good care of yourself!
Leslie